Lately I view things differently….

I apologize. I have been absent from my words and thoughts, and I have not created a blog in quite some time.

What a year! Let’s not talk about it! Let’s talk about how a person sees the world and how that evolves and changes. I have had a profound moment in my life that made me stop and smile.

A month or so ago on a wet autumn Saturday I was dressed in my wellies, some old (not terribly clean) sweat pants and a t shirt.

I had my reading glasses perched on my nose and I was busy putting bubble wrap on the inside of our greenhouse to extend the growing season. Suddenly I had the ability to see myself from another person’s perspective. It made me laugh out loud. I looked ridiculous, rain was dripping through the gaps onto me, my clothes were a disaster, it was very unlikely that my hair, (which by the way is now dye free and quite grey), had seen a hair brush that day. Yet I was happy, and completely content and there was nowhere else on the planet that I would rather be! It made me realize once again, that I had turned into my parents. I always used to marvel as a younger person as to why my parents seemed content in their middle years to be gardening at the weekend when they could surely be doing something much more exciting…..????? It seems that actually they were doing the very thing that was exciting and I was too inexperienced in life to see it.

The moral of this story is that, I think, here in my forties, I have discovered that I am content, finally.

It’s the little luxuries…..that you didn’t know you had.

I love a good book. Not an e book. Not anything involving a screen. A good old fashioned book, one where you can feel the pages, peek ahead and see that you have three pages to the end of the chapter, turn the corners to mark your spot. Often the book will be second hand and there is a lovely inscription in the front, both to and from people you will most likely never know. A book has history, and it’s fun to be a part of that.

However, I have made it into my forties. Now, reading glasses make those tiny words readable again. So instead of grabbing the book and reading a chapter here and there, I have to grab the book, remember where I last had my reading glasses, begin that inevitable search that will ensue to find them, by which time the precious moment I had to read has been swallowed up by the glasses search.

That doesn’t even touch upon reading in a lovely bath tub of lavender bubbles, trying to read as the glasses steam up. Or trying to read while laying in bed and realizing you cannot lay on your side as your glasses get pressed against your face and it’s uncomfortable.

*sigh* I am so grateful for what I have, but I do wish my eyes had lasted longer, but I guess they are as old as the rest of me!

Life begins at 40…….what that really means!

I wonder who said that anyway!  Before you get to 40 it seems to be the most ridiculous thing in the world.  How can life possibly begin when you so far into it?  As a person younger than 40, the concept of even being that old is far far into the fuzzy future, and most definitely a time when you are too old to begin anything.  Once you get to 40, or maybe even 40 and a bit more than that, suddenly there is a brief moment in the chaos where you have time to reflect….the penny drops, there is a mental drumroll and some kind of lightbulb in your head goes off, a cynical smile creeps across your face, and all becomes clear…..thats when you reach for the wine.